


Lingering

by ByTheDawn



Series: 300challenge [10]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2014-04-02
Packaged: 2018-01-17 22:04:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1404142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ByTheDawn/pseuds/ByTheDawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part of the #300Challenge, based off of the title prompt. Ruby's memory lingers... everywhere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lingering

Her echo lingers in places you used to frequent together. That corner where you walked arm in arm, skipping along in the sunlight, the hat shop where you two tried on every single one before being send on your way by a frustrated business owner who knew you two would never buy anything. You don’t go to the diner anymore, but you can’t escape it in the library. 

It lingers in the woods where she runs, and in the illuminated darkness of the full moon. It lingers in the grass of the park and around the large oak tree where you kissed her for the first time. You shouldn’t have done it—it wasn’t fair to her or Rumple, nor to yourself, but you did it anyway because you had finally cornered her after a long game of tag and she was panting and beautiful, and you wanted to kiss her so badly. The echo lingers on your lips now, brushes them with ever kiss Rumple lays on them. You pull him closer and surrender to his hands, but often—too often—you close your eyes and remember _her_.

He knows—he must know, Rumplestiltskin knows everything—but he doesn’t comment on it. You chose him and that is all that matters. You are everything Milah never was—tempted but still around. You don’t think about Milah often, but when Ruby’s ghost lingers in the tiny apartment above the library where you shared the rest of your kisses—frantic and still playful—as you vested the toils of clothing and furniture, you think about her. Would Rumple have chosen you over her if she had not been dead—if Rumple had not killed her? It would have saved you the choice if he hadn’t.

You live almost entirely with Rumple now, because the memories are too vivid in your own home. You shouldn’t have taken her there, you should have gone to her place, let her have the memories, or some place neutral entirely. But your place had been closest, and the need to touch too great. It had been a mistake—it had always been a mistake—but she lingers there, regardless. Her long hair with the red streaks lingers on pillow casings, her soft pale skin on flower patterned sheets, and most of all her moans linger as if soaked up by rickety furniture and walls that are losing their paper. 

Your name falling off of her lips haunts you most; especially at night, it’s deafening. You’ve heard it in so many ways—in a kind greeting, a shy request, in need and desire, and mostly in heartache. It’s the latter that haunts you most—you still have it saved on your voice-mail; a last-ditch effort from the taller brunette to get you to talk to her after you ignored her for weeks. You’re not proud of it, but it was the only way to do it—a clean break, like a Band-Aid torn off in one go. Ruby understood—eventually—and you felt like the most horrible person on the planet. Sometimes you worry there is too much of Lacey inside of you to be a good person.

Whatever happened between you—once, just once, but perfect—lingers in everything you own and everything you are and while you have made your choice, you are never sure it was the right one. You hate yourself for it, as well as Rumple, and Ruby. It isn’t fair, but there it is. It happened once—a beautiful mistake—and now it will linger eternally until it will consume you whole.


End file.
